The Leviathans are my feet. I admit to the world of Internet Species I possess scary feet. I can’t wear sandals, even in the summer. Scary feet need to be kept undercover, no matter how much they stink or sweat. I sent this photo to the Guinness Book of World’s Records. They e-mailed back,
“You’d be the world’s winner, hands down.”
I knew it all along.
Very like a whale.” HAMLET
I have a love life now, one of the best therapists in San Diego, good looking too, a woman of substance. She told me not to worry about my feet, she’d love me anyway. Now I feel better, and by posting this picture on my blog, I’m going world-wide with my feet.
Maybe my toes will go viral.
“Let us fly, let us fly! Old Nick take me if is not Leviathan described by the noble prophet Moses in the life of patient Job.” RABELAIS
Girls and women have much prettier feet than men. Many are fond of showing off their feet on Facebook and various social media. Usually these women’s feet, and they could be wearing anything, flip-flops, Espadrilles, tennies, high-heels, whatever, are very pretty feet. Women lacquer their toe-nails too, and adorn them with sparkles or French Tips.
No amount of sparkle or French-tipping is going to help my Leviathan feet.
“That sea beast Leviathan, which God of all his works created hugest that swim the ocean stream.” PARADISE LOST
There are times I wish for more manly feet. Bold feet, ready to grip the earth and make progress at a moment’s notice. Real clod-hoppers, ready to plow the earth. The kind of feet you’re happy to ‘put your foot down’ with. I need more authoritative feet, more normal everyday feet. The toes are too twisted for normal feet. Just look at that one next to the pinky. It’s making a U turn towards my big toe.
So what about you, dear reader? Are you happy with your feet?
I usually end my blog with a song. I couldn’t find a song about funny looking feet. Who would want a man with such funny-looking feet? And even if they did, would they want a raggedy man as well?
I just looked at my wardrobe.